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domingo, 23 de agosto de 2009

>> 100 dicas para vc q quer ser EMO <<



01- Nunca admita que você é emo, por que os emos que admitem ser emos são considerados posers de emo, que é pior que ser emo ( se é que existe coisa pior ).

02- Use roupas de velhos e de crianças de cinco anos de idade, misture camisas polos, com listras, coletes, suéter.Essas coisas fora de moda. ( E olha que os emos falam que estão na moda )

03- Use óculos mesmo que você não precise deles, de preferência estilo soldador.

04- Sempre reclame do sistema e nunca faça nada pra ele melhorar, apenas reclame.

05- Mesmo estando feliz, se mostre triste para todo mundo ficar com pena de você.

06- Não olhe ninguém nos olhos, dê uma de cachorro com fome.

07- Ao ver uma briga na rua, faça um escândalo e depois comece a chorar e falar sobre a violência no mundo ( isso fará você ganhar afagos e carícias ).

08- Chore por uma mosca ter pousado no seu ombro.

09- Use roupas do sexo oposto.

10- Pinte o cabelo de cores estranhas.

11- Pague pau, um emo sem pagar pau não é emo.

12- Se perguntarem se você é emo, diga que é HC, essa é a desculpa de todos emos.

13- Corra atrás dos mais populares, na esperança de você virar um deles.

14- Tire fotos com poses descontraídas, fotos sem sentido, e em preto e branco.As coloridas são tiradas pelos posers de emo.

15- Comece a se interessar pelos anos 50, 60 e 70, apesar de você nem ter pensado em existir nessa época.

16- Mude o nick do seu MSN e Orkut regularmente.

17- Coloque prefixos antes do nick ou nome como Srta, Srto, Dona, Dono, Lady, Sr, Seu, Mister, etc...

18- Use cintos cheios de enfeites de metal.

19- De uma de criança, e relembre todas as suas brincadeiras, recordando-as em fotos e postando em seus respectivos flogs.

20- Convide quem você não é muito próximo pra comentar no seu flog.

21- Se você for do sexo feminino, ponha algo do tipo no seu profile do Orkut: Não sou produto, não to a venda, não me rotule, não me use, não me empreste, etc...

22- Se faça de coitado(a) e diga todos seus defeitos e problemas no seu profile.

23- Não coma carne, você tem pena dos pobres animaizinhos.

24- Chegamos ao número emo.

25- Use lacinhos.

26- Use allstar rabiscado. ( se for quadriculado melhor ainda )

27- Curta rock britânico. estilo the libertines.

28- Tire fotos com a boca torta e cara de pensativo.

29- Não esqueça dos piercings.

30- Nas festas vá a caráter emo e dance reggae e funk. ( não ligue pro que os outros vão dizer )

31- Use um estilo dark pra fazer concorrência com metal.

32- Use maquiagem exagerada seja homem ou mulher.

33- Se você for menina, chame a sua melhor amiga de marida.

34- Use bótons e mais bótons.

35- Ao sair com outros emos, de risada de tudo e tente se achar o dono(a) da situação.

36- Em festas de 15 anos, vá de allstar, terno e maquiagem. ( vai ficar lindo e todos os emos vão querer você )

37- Diga que é contra o imperialismo americano mas use e abuse de música/marcas/logos estadunidenses.

38- Seja viciado em The OC.

39- Tenha webcam mas nunca convide ninguém nem aceite convites. ( aliás você não deve aceitar nada descente )

40- Dê uma de maníaco depressivo sem ter depressão.

41- Mexa com pessoas na rua. ( é um ótimo exercício )

42- Fale mal de todo mundo pelas costas. ( seja amigo ou não. )

43- Use Franjas gigantes, cortes de cabelo emo e se ache com eles.

44- Vá cortar cabelo no estagiário do Senac.

45- Cultue seu All Star.

46- Ouça Blink 182 e Good Charlotte. ( bandas extremamente "batutas" na sua gíria. )

47- Em tempos de aula, use seu uniforme como roupa normal.

48- Tenha um mal gosto da p#%%@.

49- Se adicione no MSN e use nicks bem coloridos.

50- Saia cantarolando "fresno" pela rua.

51- Dê uma de intelectual sem mesmo saber quanto é 2 + 2. ( não se esqueça dos óculos de solda. )

52- Fale abobrinhas sem exitar.

53- Faça um escândalo por qualquer coisa.

54- Se revolte com tudo que você não gosta e chore por causa disso.

55- Tire fotos com cara de triste.

56- Use alargador na orelha. ( enquanto não passar um cabo de vassoura não é o suficiente. )

57- Assista programas infatis como Barney e Telletubies com os amigos(as) e ria pra valer.

58- Leia Capricho.

59- Se você for menina se ache uma garota malvada.

60- Não esqueça que você sempre está certo(a).

61- Substitua todos os seus CD's por discos de vinil. ( qualidade vem em segundo lugar. )

62- No MSN dê risadas estranhas e loucas e use gírias próprias,

63- Ignore todos que não são emos.

64- Você sempre é a vítima.

65- Infeste locais públicos e faça deles seu point.

66- Vire escravo do que você chama de moda.

67- Faça tudo para aparecer ou para os outros notarem sua presença. ( isso inclui auto humilhação e choro. )

68- Seja um(a) maria vai com as outras. ( acima de tudo isso. )

69- Já mencionei chorar por qualquer coisa?

70- Compre roupas no brechó mais porco da sua cidade.

71- Tente parecer um nerd.

72- Use desenho de caveiras enfeitadas. ( se forem rosas melhor ainda. )

73- No seu quarto tenha sempre posters de bandas HC/Emo.

74- Fofoque.

75- Evite ter relações sexuais com pessoas do sexo oposto.

76- Evite pensar. ( além de consumir seu cérebro fede. )

77- Seja fútil e superficial.

78- Se você tiver namorada(o) e ela o dispensar corra pro primeiro macho que você encontrar na rua. ( vai ser divertido. )

79- Se humilhe por bobagens. ( como chicletes ou ainda por um beijo de um amigo. )

80- Beijar pessoas do mesmo sexo é fundamental e sadio.

81- Não mostre empolgação, é "cafona".

82- Afaste-se de todos os seus amigos, você tem novos amigos emos agora e só pode andar com eles.

83- Não se assuste se você apanhar por qualquer motivo.Mesmo que ele não exista.

84- Fique feliz se te jogarem em uma lixeira. ( afinal, você já fede mesmo. )

85- Goste de bonecas mesmo que você seja homem e tenha dezoito anos.

86- Nunca use violência contra ninguém, apanhe e agradeça por isso.

87- Use ofensas como: bobo, feio, cara de mamão, etc...

88- Acredite em Papai Noel e coisas do tipo.

89- Tenha medo de palhaços. ( afinal, eles são felizes. )

90- Sinta-se incompreendido(a). ( estamos carecas de saber o que você pensa e é, mas mesmo assim sinta-se dessa forma. )

91- Tente corrigir todos com o que você acha que é certo. ( todos são burros perto de você. )

92- Não pratique esportes. ( você pode suar. E seu esporte nato é a vadiagem.)

93- Tenha como hobbie o tricô, crochê, pqp, etc...

94- Faça poses extremamente inúteis e bizarras.

95- A beleza é a única coisa que importa. ( mesmo você sendo ridículo. )

96- Deprede patrimônios públicos.

97- Nunca seja você mesmo(a). ( siga a moda e o que te deixe mais popular. )

98- Nunca esteja satisfeito(a) com o que tem. ( explore seus pais ao limite. )

99- Deixe de lado tudo que você gosta. ( agora você é emo. )

100- Relembrando o primeiro e o mais importante passo...Admitir q/ é emo nunca.....

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